Quote of the Day

"Mom, do they speak Finnish in Fitaly?"

Rehearsal Love

     

WARNING!!  This is not visually appealing at all.  My camera was sitting on top of the piano and facing the wall for four minutes. 

This is a recording of Todd and me rehearsing for a duet we have to sing Saturday evening.  It is not great.  We screw up notes and words and me playing the piano while singing typically leads to sad noises.  (Happily we will have an accompanist who actually can play the piano.)  

The reason I am posting this is because listening to it makes me happy.  Hearing Todd's lovely singing voice makes me fall in love with him a little bit all over again.  The first time he and I sang together, I was four and he was five.  All these years later I still haven't tired of singing with him.  Even more than that, I love that while rehearsing we are silly.  We laugh and joke and sing.

When I listened to this again today, I thought, "If Todd were suddenly gone one day, this is what I would remember.  How I felt doing this.  How I always feel doing this."

While this is no treat for your eyes, to my ears at least it sounds like love.

Vote!

Nathaniel and I went downtown this morning to vote early.  We stood in line for an hour, but the mood was festive.  Nathaniel was pretty thrilled that there was a concession stand and even scored a bag of popcorn to munch on while standing in line.  

This was the first time in a really long time that I had to fill out a paper ballot.  In my town, we have machines. The last three years they've been the touchscreen ones.  I like those.  Apparently, the city isn't there yet.

Todd and I are a political house divided, but we navigate our differences just fine.  The children, however, side with me politically.  Probably because they are around me more.  Nathaniel and I had this conversation as I was filling out my ballot.

N: Mom, did you vote for Barack Obama?

Me: Yes, honey.

N: Then why are you still doing this?

Me: Because I have to vote for other people too, and the issues.

N: But you voted for Barack?

Me: Yes.  Shh.

N: You're sure?

Me: Yes.  Shh.

N: Is everybody else voting for him?

Me: I don't know.  Shh.

N: You're sure you filled in the oval next to his name and you didn't accidentally fill in the one next to McCain's?

Me: YES!  SHHHHHHH.

N: I'm bored.  Can we go now since you already voted for Barack?

On the way out, Nathaniel beguiled the news people and gave a little report about how l-o-n-g it took to vote.  Thank you Mr. Cameraman and Mr. Reporter.  I don't usually watch the news, but I'll tune into yours once or twice during sweeps just to say "thanks".
Tip: if you plan on spending an hour in line with a six year old, don't forget the Gameboy.  It was far more pleasant this way than it would have been otherwise.

Question:  Why do we elect county coroners?  Can there really be more than one person who wants that job?  And how could politics get in the way?  Does a Republican coroner do things differently than a Democrat coroner?  Why don't they ever have a county coroner's debate?  I can guarantee that I would listen to that one!

Signs

I feel like I need a virtual support group. I am a reformed sign stealer. Like a former alcoholic in a bar,  I no longer steal signs but my fingers get itchy whenever I'm around a particularly clever one.

I was a sign stealer with standards. I never took anything that would compromise the safety of others. But sometimes there are signs which are just silly...or conveniently knocked over on the ground, or irresistible. Like this one:

I have a similar one that I took from the pavilion of a park which shall not be named in a state that won't be named either because I have relatives in law enforcement in that same state...and town. I was 16. It still hangs as decoration in my basement. In college it was the main picture in the living room of one of my apartments.

We are about to travel for two days on the highway. This is bad. Every time I go on a road trip I get itchy fingers and begin jonesing for this sign:

I always hope that there will be one knocked to the ground, but there never is. A girl can hope, right? Oh, big white question mark, someday you will be mine!!

I was better behaved when I was in England for a visit during college. There were great signs there that would have looked excellent at my place, but I was VERY certain that I wouldn't get them passed the customs agents. They're grouchy like that. But look how irresistible this one is! I had to content myself with taking a picture.

I really enjoyed this one in San Francisco, but it was too big to carry back on the plane. Oh. And I guess that would violate those standards of mine. Hm. I wonder if they make tourist versions that could be purchased in the airport gift shop...

Here's another one I really enjoyed, and it was these signs and others like them that started the whole "People Die Here" thing. I'm not sure if taking these goes against my standards or not. Isn't it self evident that you could fall off if you are climbing around on a steep cliff? I don't know that a sign is really necessary for that. Hm. I'll have to think about that one some more.

You may be asking yourself "Why is Emilia telling me about this bizarre compulsion of hers?"

Well, I will tell you why I'm telling you.

I walk around my neighborhood in the mornings. There are no street lights in my neighborhood, so at 6:30 am it is still very dark. (We're also on the very western edge of eastern time zone which makes it darker later in the morning.) Last week while walking, I had to really fight the urge to steal all the political signs off of everybody's yards. I was particularly tempted to take the ones of the party I'm not voting for. When I say tempted, I mean really Tempted. With a capital "T".



And that's what ultimately kept me from doing it. Not that I could be arrested. Not that it would have been stealing and therefore wrong. But that it didn't seem fair to steal the signs of only one party. Apparently, one of my sign stealing standards also involves equal opportunity practices.

Personal ethics are a real pain sometimes.

But in case it ever gets to be too much, I may need to reach out to a lifeline. Any volunteers to talk me off my neighbor's yards at 6:30am?!!

Anybody...?

Fine.

What the Heck We Were Thinking

I am one of four children.  All of us were adopted.  Todd is from a family in which three of the six kids were adopted.  It seemed very natural to say that we would one day adopt.  

When I realized I was pregnant on our six month anniversary of marriage, I was stunned.  Mostly because everyone is sort of stunned that first time, but also because I had no idea pregnancy could be that easy.  We weren't even trying.  But the month before we had stopped trying not to, so it shouldn't have been that unexpected.  Seriously, though, I had grown up hearing stories of years and years of trying without success, so I assumed that would be us, too.

Apparently not.

When Benjamin was a toddler and I was pregnant with Nathaniel, I saw signs on the New Jersey Turnpike asking for people to volunteer to be foster parents.  I mentioned them to Todd and he said, "Not yet.  Now is not the time."

The same thing happened in between Nathaniel and Caleb.  And again Todd said, "Not yet."

After Caleb was born, nobody who lives with me wanted me to be pregnant ever again.  (I know it's shocking, but I'm not very pleasant while pregnant.)

Todd and I both heard a few news stories on NPR at different times highlighting the difficulties of getting adopted as an older child.  We knew that we didn't need to adopt a baby.  We had been there and done that, and everybody wants to adopt babies.  We wanted an older child, but one that would be enough older than Benjamin that the natural birth order of our kids wouldn't be upset.  So we started looking into what we needed to do to be able to adopt a teenager.

I love the teen years.  They are turbulent and tumultuous.  They are ridiculoulsy hard and really wonderful.  There is so much possibility and experimentation.  It's a great time to figure out how to start as a little kid and end up as a fledgling adult.  

I had a great time teaching middle school students way back when I was still teaching school, and my favorite part of seminary was being able to start my morning off with a bunch of kids whom I both loved and wanted to shake some sense into.  Sometimes all at once.

Our prayers in the last couple of years have included a lot of, "Please let us know if we are doing something completely insane here."  But mostly we feel absurdly calm about the whole thing.  Even when we realize that we are about to have to face driving, dating, and college about ten years before we were initially planning on addressing such things.

There was another element to all of this.  About three years ago, Todd looked at each other and said, "Now what?"  We had three beautiful boys.  Todd had a well paying job that he enjoyed.  We had a nice house in a great neighborhood.  So what was next?  This question led to lots of other questions.  Go back to school?  Career change?  Move? Baby?  After a few months of contemplating what was next, Todd finally said, "It's time."

And so, the ultimate answer of "What the heck you were you thinking adopting a sixteen year old?" is:

Because we want to and we can. 

And we've been given the go-ahead to do something that on paper seems utterly absurd.  We've been subtley preparing for this for our entire lives.  And this time our desires and the Lord's timetable seem to be in synch. 

 

  

Harvesting

This was the last of the bounty from my garden for the season.  I had no idea that Italian Parsley was so wonderfully hardy!  Since I always need it for my enormous batches of tomato sauce, I grew some this year.  It was so prolific throughout the entire growing season, that I think I'm set until next year!  I love not having to try to find fresh herbs at the grocery store in the middle of winter.

I harvested some broccoli the other day, but didn't take a picture, because I managed to completely cover myself and the kitchen in dirt during the experience.

And then there are my green tomatoes.  Last year I had so many I made pickled green tomatoes which was one of my favorite things to eat when I worked at the Princetonian Diner in college.  The ones I made were considerably spicier, and it has taken me most of this year to come up with things to do with them.  They are great tossed into guacamole, like you would a tomatillo.  And they are also yummy as a fried green tomato. 

With this year's crop, I'm skipping the pickling and just going straight for the fried.  It's so rare that I fry things that this is a special treat...which probably nobody in my family will actually eat.

Any other great green tomato recipes out there?

Back to the Cleaning

I've decided that a week is more than enough time to walk around in a shell-schocked stupor of a new calling and a new kid, and it's time to get back to the cleaning/nesting thing.  

Today's projects will be cleaning the bathrooms, hallway, and stairs again.  And baking up the pumpkins and squash I received from our CSA so I can freeze them for future Thanksgivingy use.   The outlet covers and switch plates are still not painted and TODAY is the day.

Later this week, watch for the "What the heck we were thinking when we decided to adopt a teenager" post.  I've had so many people ask me that, that I figure next time I can just give them the blog address and be done with it.  ;)

Too Cool For Us

I have always had the feeling that Nathaniel is just too cool to be in our family.  The rest of us have geeky/quirky tendencies which are either endearing or slightly off-putting.  Nathaniel, however, is always funny and always ready with a comeback or witty observation.  He is more self-confident at age six than I have ever been in my entire life.

Cracks are beginning to form in this veneer of cool, though.  The Smith is starting to shine through.  Nathaniel has lately been speaking in numbers.  He looks at a word, reads it and immediately tells me how many letters are in the word.  And then tells me how many letters are in other words.  

Lately, he's been begging to play on the computer before afternoon kindergarten.  Being the big, mean Mom that I am, I make him play educational games online.  Each day he picks a different math game that honestly, I couldn't have done easily in second grade and he as a kindergartener totally aces it.

The best was the other day in the car.  We were driving along and had made three left turns.  Nathaniel piped up from the backseat, "We better not make another left turn or we'll be back where we started.  Because four turns in the same direction make a square."

I realize that this is not earth shattering 'Oh, my kid is sooo brilliant' stuff, but the fact that he's found his niche to let out his inner Smith is very exciting for me and makes me say, "AHA!!  You are one of us!"

Merrily We Roll Along

This has been an interesting week.  I have felt extremely unfocused thanks to some big stuff that happened.

Last week our Bishop called me into his office to ask if I would accept the calling of Relief Society President.  (For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, see here.)  For those of you who do know what I mean, you will understand why I immediately burst into tears and cried in his office for about an hour while we talked it over.  I tried explaining to him that I am not even nice, but it didn't seem to change his mind.  So I spent the rest of Sunday close to my tissue box...and a little bit of Monday.  On Tuesday I finally told him yes.

One of my non-LDS friends asked what the heck I was thinking by taking on something so huge.  And while I felt much the same way, I was able to explain that in our church this is what we do.  We accept callings and assignments (after prayer and consideration) that often seem beyond our capabilities.  And then we learn and grow and fall short and slowly get better until we are big enough to fit into them and do them well.   So here's to growing!

Just when I was beginning to wrap my mind around that, we received a call from a case worker letting us know that we would be getting a son for Christmas.  I won't post details about him until he's mine, but he is 16 and delightful.  He is polite and sweet with our little boys and well-mannered and witty with us.  He has a lovely voice and enjoys music, theater, and reading.  I asked his case worker on Friday if I was allowed to be excited yet, because we've been trying to adopt for almost two years and been thwarted at every turn.  But this is all go!  So I have a couple of months to fill out mountains of paper work and get his room ready and think about life with four boys...one of whom is an instant teenager.  (The cleaning thing from last week.  According to the very wise Dee, I am nesting.  And she's totally right.)  

There's a line from "Into the Woods" in which Little Red Riding Hood says she's scared, but then amends it to say, "Well...excited and scared."  And that's how I feel.

I also feel like I haven't really been very present this last week.  As if I'm on the outside watching someone lead me quietly along.  I'm sure one of these days I will snap out of it and freak out, but for now if I appear to be not so lucid, just snap your fingers in my face a few times until I come back.

Thanks for all of you who have put up with my spaciness this week.  I appreciate your friendship, love and support more than I can say.  

Boys

The weather in Ohio has been absolutely wonderfully fabulously gorgeous!! I wish I could have you all over for a wonderful leaf crunchy, blue sky, autumny picnic!

Today we went to a park next to a river. I don't know the name of the park or the river. Because once you get out of Columbus, it's all farms and tiny towns until you hit the state line. (Or Cincinnati or Cleveland or Dayton.)

Here are some pictures of the loveliness of our day:

Above is a picture of the building across the street from the park. I thought the brick was a lovely contrast with the wonderful blue sky. Below is a picture of my hot husband playing frisbee with our four boys:

Aren't my husband and four boys so cute as they frolic about a field with their frisbees?

Hmm? What's that? You thought we only had three boys? Gosh. I'm pretty sure it's four, but maybe I should count again...
One.


Two.

Three.

Four.

Yup. Four boys.

What Girls Wear

So many of you have been regaled with my stories of Nathaniel and how he thinks I look like a boy because of my preferred attire of jeans, t-shirts, and flip-flops.

Tonight was the Halloween Party at our community center. When I walked out to the car wearing my costume, Benjamin and Caleb both told me how nice I looked. Nathaniel enthusiastically declared, "Now THAT'S what a girl should look like."

But when he wasn't looking, I put on his helmet and became "Boba Wench"!

So there.

GIGO

Todd has been working late all this week.  He was sweet enough to come home tonight so I could go to book club.  I was hoping that he was going to be all done with late nights, but when I came home at 11 pm, he announced that he had to go back to the office.  

I was feeling all sorts of sympathetic for my poor tired husband, until on the way out the door he said, "Oh, yeah, I forgot to take out the garbage.  Can you take care of that?"

I blinked at him for a moment.

"But, Todd," I said, "I don't think I remember how to take out the garbage!  I got married so I wouldn't have to take out the garbage anymore!"

There was a distinct lack of sympathy in his eyes as he left...and an evil laugh, too.

I did manage to figure it out.  But shhh!  Don't tell him.

Thursday to do

So yesterday was kind of a wash for cleaning.  (haha!)  

While I didn't get even half of the things on yesterday's list done, I did have a great time playing with Caleb.  There was much giggling to be had and it made me remember why this motherhood thing is so much fun.  (I forget when I spend the day scrubbing crayon off the walls.)

I've been a work widow the past couple of nights and I don't sleep well alone.  It just doesn't occur to me to go to bed if there's no one to go with me.  So last night I listened to the presidential debate on the radio while I dismantled my dining room chairs with a screw driver to  clean out all the crumbs that have gotten in the wood.  

It was when I was running the vacuum at 11 pm that I realized I needed to stop right then.  My sister and I just last year were joking about how as kids we would wake up at midnight to the sound of the vacuum cleaner.  While I now understand my mother's motivation for vacuuming at midnight (you know it won't get crummy for at least 6 hours), I decided my kids have enough other anecdotal fodder from me and didn't need to add vacuuming at midnight to the list.

Today's list:

-Finish the dismantling, cleaning, and putting together of the rest of the dining room chairs

-polish the silver

-clean the chandalier that I don't even like, but it's dusty.  It will still be ugly when it's clean.

-The family room...yes, still.  I get sidetracked by all the books on the bookshelves...

-two loads of laundry, folded and put away

And I think that's it for today.  The weather has been too pretty and my mind too distracted to really care about all this.  

 

More Cute...and slightly gross

"I am stronger than snot!"

Caleb was very excited that he had managed to hold in a sneeze.

It's the little things in life that can bring us great joy.

Male Chauvinist in Training

Other than a few blips here and there, I would describe myself as a tomboy.  Yes, I have polished toenails and bizarre hightlights in my hair, but these do not keep me from climbing trees and never thinking to brush my hair, let alone do something with it.  (God inspired man to create the ponytail holder for a reason, people.)  I can tackle and wrestle and hike and climb and run and throw a punch as well as most boys...and better than several I know.  I can build fires and purify water and make a shelter in the wilderness and chop wood.

Which is why I find conversations like the one today at Target while I was looking at a t-shirt particularly distressing.  I have no idea where it comes from.

Nathaniel:  Mommy, that won't fit you.

Me: (bristling) What do you mean it won't fit me?! (Holding it up in front of me to show that it would most definitely fit me!)

Nathaniel: Yeah, but it's not long enough.

Me:  What do you mean it's not long enough?  It's a T-shirt.

Nathaniel:  Girls shouldn't wear t-shirts.  They should only wear skirts and dresses.

Me: ... Who told you THAT?!

Nathaniel: (gives a distressingly Gallic shrug--where did he learn THAT, too?!)

Me:  Nathaniel, what am I wearing right now?

Nathaniel:  (sweeping his eyes over my apparel and sizing up the pants and t-shirt with flip flops that is my every day look)  Hm.  Yeah, but you look like a boy when you dress like that.

There are days when I totally get those animal mothers who eat their young.

The Cute that is Caleb

"Mommy, I feel squashed like a 'pamato'!" 

I know I should want him to learn perfect diction.  But I'll be sad when he learns the word 'tomato'.

Wednesday to do

I'm keeping steady at being only one day behind.  

Walls, halls, stairs, lightswitches and doorknobs.  Done.  And now every little surfact painted white is going to be repainted.  Because no amount of scrubbing will get all the marks off.   Don't you magic eraser me, either!  I'm DONE with white paint (except for trim and chair rails).

The laundry and halloween decorations happened, too, much to the great delight of Caleb who is a lover of all things spooky.

The list for tomorrow:

-More laundry

-the family room

-the dining room

-if it's not raining, painting those light switch covers and outlet covers

-the spare bedroom

Thanks for asking me about it.  It's keeping me honest.

Tuesday to do

The nice thing about only being on this cleaning thing for one day so far is that I can be only one day behind.

Laundry and bathrooms got done.  (And it is very nice to have sparkly clean bathrooms.  It makes the whole house feel a little cleaner somehow.)   Same with coupons and a little grocery shopping.

Hallways did not and walls did not.

Tomorrow's list:

-Wipe down hallway walls and sweep and mop, halls and stairs

- Clean Family room including dusting all the bookshelves

-Clean dining room.  

- two loads of laundry, done and put away

- Reorganize linen closet

-paint the darn dining room switchplates

-get out halloween decorations

Here goes day 2!

Don't you wish-

-that Doritos counted as vegetables?

To do on Monday

Monday is kind of a crazy day in Smithland. Caleb has school in the morning while Nathaniel has gymnastics, then Nathaniel has school while Caleb has swimming. I feel like I spend Mondays driving speedily to and fro, so tomorrow's cleaning will be not quite so intense as what is to come.

Monday:

-All three disgusting bathrooms. (Seriously, boys are given precision equipment. How do they manage to miss all the time?!) Yuck.
- Hallways. Walls wiped down, floors swept and mopped.
- Two loads of laundry. Washed, dried, folded AND put away.
- Go through paper and clip coupons and begin grocery list for the month.
-All doorknobs and light switch plates disinfected.

(opt.)-paint the light switch plate and outlet covers for the dining room.

Can I get it all done and still have time to read, talk to my friends, crunch in the leaves and be silly with my kids?

We shall see.

Experiments

I make no secret of the fact that I hate cleaning. I have shared the story with most of you about the time I called a maid service just to find out what they did for how much money. As the man on the other end of the phone listed chores, "wipe down all base-board moulding, clean the kitchen window, wipe out sink," I had to fan myself. When I hung up all flushed, I felt assured that phone sex could not possibly be any better than someone trying to woo me into letting them clean for me. But I am a cheapskate. So, I did not hire them.

Seminary provided a very convenient excuse to not do more than perfunctory cleaning for the last two years. Much time had to be devoted to lesson planning and I was too tired anyway.

I'm out of excuses, though. The time has come. I've decided to try being an excellent housekeeper for one week. Details people. Cleaning windows, dusting the tops of the really tall things that I can't even see the tops of. Filing all those papers that I have been meaning to file for...well, a really long time. Getting out paint cans and touching up the little spots AFTER I wash down the walls in each room.

Obviously not every thing has to be done every week, but if I hate this week because it doesn't leave time for me to do the things that I love doing, then I am just going to embrace the messy house. It's not like creepy dirty, just a chronic mess. And while it's nice when it's clean, it's also really nice to sit at the playground and talk with my friends while our children play all around us. Or read a book all in one sitting. Or send and receive lovely emails from lovely friends. Or enjoy wonderful conversations on the phone. (I would say 'play with my kids', but realistically, I'm not invited into their world of play hardly ever. So, they're good.) These are the things I actually like doing.

We will see how much I get to do this week.

Wish me luck!

Just Put That Anywhere

Because sometimes the bed is just too far away.

Too Early

The conversation Todd and I had when I crawled back into bed at 6am.  

Todd: Did you get up and exercise?

Me:  It is 6 am and I have already exercised, done laundry, dealt with popcorn orders, read my scriptures, eaten breakfast, checked my email, read all my favorite blogs and found a new one I may have to start reading.

Todd: ...wow.  I'm sorry.

Me:  s'okay, I'm going to try to get a little nap before the kids wake up.

Todd: k, love you.

[Silence]

Caleb:  MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I had a BAD NIGHTMARE and my STOMACH hurts!!!!!!!  MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

After we got Caleb back to his own bed, Todd presented me with inadvertant early morning love poetry when he said:

I inhaled your hair

It was tasty and delicious

Like licorice

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ah, mornings!

"What popcorn can do for you!"

While I was in California, our most recent house guest decided to reallocate some of the $13,000 of Cub Scout popcorn.  He was most creative about it, though.  Check out his delicious smelling desk:

It made me giggle.

Nature or Nurture?

The first weekends of October and April are a general conference for the members of our church. Happily, we can listen to the wonderful talks online. When it was just Todd and I, we would huddle around the computer for the four 2 hour sessions. (I'll do almost anything if it means I get to stay in my pajamas.)

Once our boys were born, we went hi-tech and put the baby monitor to use. So, we have conference streaming on the computer, and then put a baby monitor up to the speakers. The other monitor we take wherever we want to be. Doing dishes, painting outside, in the living room flopped on the couch, etc.

Caleb decided this year that he's going to kick Mack Wilburg out and take over the post as conductor for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Dressed as Batman. And conducting a baby monitor. (It does make me think that wings should be the next new thing for the well dressed choral director.)

Makes us proud. Incidentally, the thing he keeps saying is, "People die here!", a quote I stole from the gorgeous Marc, and apparently have been saying more than I realized.

My weirdo

I was singing while playing the piano this morning when Nathaniel came up to stand by me.  I felt all warm and fuzzy that one of my most favorite people was standing with me while I did one of my most favorite things.  I turned at one point to gaze lovingly upon him, and discovered that he was sucking on my hair.   He had picked up a few ends of my long hair and stuck them in his mouth without me realizing what he was doing.  I grabbed my hair back and said something profound like, "Ew, gross!".

  I should have known better, though, because for little boys that is like the ulitmate compliment.  For the next several minutes I had to keep dodging my head around to keep my hair from him while still playing and singing.  I could have simply stood up, or swept my hair up in a knot on my head...but it was  more fun this way.

And besides, who am I to complain?  I bite and lick people with alarming regularity.  

But only if I really like them.

Hm.

"Oh, Nathaniel! Can you come here for a minute?"

Curriculum Night

While attending curriculum night for 3rd grade, I had the chance to look through Benjamin's math workbook.  There was one page that caught my eye because of all the writing on it.   On it were two lists.

1.  Make a list of things you are sure will happen today.

"I will see my Mom after school.  I will play on the playground.  I will do my homework.  I will drink water."

2.  Make a list of things you are sure will not happen.

"Mom won't surprise me by putting a leopard gecco on the dining room table.  I won't have hip hop class at Footsteps Family Dance Center.  I won't genetically mutate into a dragon."

The dragon thing made me burst out laughing while his teacher was trying to explain the huge standardized test coming up next week.  I stopped laughing and looked at her, still smiling about my funny son.  

She didn't look amused with me.

It wasn't even October, and I'm already in trouble with the teacher.

Do you ever...

...have one of those days where you are so tired, that when you run your fingers through your air-dried hair and realize that it feels weird considering you just washed it that morning, you also are able to think back and realize that you forgot to actually wash your hair in the shower that morning?

Or is that just me?