Last week our Bishop called me into his office to ask if I would accept the calling of Relief Society President. (For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, see here.) For those of you who do know what I mean, you will understand why I immediately burst into tears and cried in his office for about an hour while we talked it over. I tried explaining to him that I am not even nice, but it didn't seem to change his mind. So I spent the rest of Sunday close to my tissue box...and a little bit of Monday. On Tuesday I finally told him yes.
One of my non-LDS friends asked what the heck I was thinking by taking on something so huge. And while I felt much the same way, I was able to explain that in our church this is what we do. We accept callings and assignments (after prayer and consideration) that often seem beyond our capabilities. And then we learn and grow and fall short and slowly get better until we are big enough to fit into them and do them well. So here's to growing!
Just when I was beginning to wrap my mind around that, we received a call from a case worker letting us know that we would be getting a son for Christmas. I won't post details about him until he's mine, but he is 16 and delightful. He is polite and sweet with our little boys and well-mannered and witty with us. He has a lovely voice and enjoys music, theater, and reading. I asked his case worker on Friday if I was allowed to be excited yet, because we've been trying to adopt for almost two years and been thwarted at every turn. But this is all go! So I have a couple of months to fill out mountains of paper work and get his room ready and think about life with four boys...one of whom is an instant teenager. (The cleaning thing from last week. According to the very wise Dee, I am nesting. And she's totally right.)
There's a line from "Into the Woods" in which Little Red Riding Hood says she's scared, but then amends it to say, "Well...excited and scared." And that's how I feel.
I also feel like I haven't really been very present this last week. As if I'm on the outside watching someone lead me quietly along. I'm sure one of these days I will snap out of it and freak out, but for now if I appear to be not so lucid, just snap your fingers in my face a few times until I come back.
Thanks for all of you who have put up with my spaciness this week. I appreciate your friendship, love and support more than I can say.