Friday, July 31, 2009

Sarah Palin Poetry

I know it's no longer National Poetry Month, but Sarah Palin (with the unlikely help of Conan O'Brian and William Shatner) has reminded us that every day can be a day to celebrate a little free verse!

Go here to enjoy!

Saturday, July 25, 2009


About three times per pregnancy, my babies go through a major growth spurt. This is not a pleasant thing for the person in whom the baby is growing. You've all seen the movie Alien, right?

Good times.

I spend a couple of days feeling generally achy, just short of crampy. And also, my liver doesn't seem to be able to fit any more.

Silver lining: My posture gets better, though, as slowly baby and organs take over my rib cage making slouching an impossibility.

Anyway, today growth spurt number one has begun. I feel gross.

Oh, and did I mention we're feeding four bachelors tomorrow? Because everyone knows the BEST time to have a dinner party is when you feel like your liver is about to explode out of body.

In fact I'm sure Martha once said that. "When I was expecting Lexi..."

Silver lining: I will be the only woman and all the men are straight, so to heck with flowers and cleaning and all that.

Monday, July 20, 2009


Today on my way home from my spinning class, I was feeling slightly queasy. I'm pregnant. So, I've basically spent the 3 months feeling queasy. However, today was a little different. I made it half way home and then knew that this was not going away. So, I turned a quick corner, pulled over on the side of the road (right in front of my friend's house) and puked out my window.

This is the first time I've thrown up this whole pregnancy, so it was kind of sad to have that record end. AND I'll need to call my neighbor later to apologize. It was a few minutes after 7am, so I'm sure someone in their house was awake to witness such loveliness.

Why does pregnancy have to be so very unpleasant? I know there are people out there who breeze through it and think it's wonderful, but I am not one of them...and in fact, I know very few people like that. But seriously, the aftermath of actually having the baby is hard enough, why (evolutionarily speaking) should it be so difficult during? Tired makes sense to me. Growing another human is hard work. But everything else? The aches, the pains, the vomiting, the swelling, the crampy legs. What is all that for?

I know there are people who have really really horrible pregnancies and I shouldn't complain about my little silly aches and pains. I know there are people who would give anything to experience pregnancy and can't, and so I should quit my whining and be grateful.

But it's hard to remember that when I'm throwing up in the street like a college freshman after their first frat party.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

my BABY!

Today Benjamin and Todd are en route to Salt Lake City, where Todd will head down to Utah valley to hang out with relatives, and Benjamin will head up to Wyoming to go on a dinosaur dig. I dropped them off at the airport right after church. The whole time we were driving towards the airport, all I could think was, "I'm sending my BABY out in to the cold world without me. He'll practically be all alone!!"

I voiced this out loud to Todd, who gave me a look. I realize intellectually that Todd is a far more consciencious parent than I am in many respects and that Benjamin will be fine first in his care and then in the care of my own parents this week, but a mother's heart does not regard these things in quite the same way. It's not ME.

Heaven forbid my kids actually be able to function without me! Oh. Except that's really what I've been spending the last nine years of his life trying to get him to do.

Ugh. This parenthood thing is so confusing.

Monday, July 6, 2009

I heart Buffy

I will confess that I really enjoyed the Twilight books, but I think the movie is pretty awful. Robert Pattison should just stop. It makes me smiley to think of him up against the slayer.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Cub Scout Camp

The three younger boys and I spent this last week at Cub Scout Camp. It was absolutely fabulous! Both Benjamin and Nathaniel completed nearly all of their scouting requirements for the coming year and earned several belt loops, as well. More importantly, they had a great time!

I was on staff as the badminton instructor, because, you know, I'm the most amazing pro at badminton.

Oh. Wait. (Yeah, actually, last time I played badminton, I'm pretty sure I still had a perm and a scrunchy in my hair to go with my acid wash jeans. Oh, and I believe that we added a tackle component to the game. Shockingly, that's not in the official rules.)

So, yes, I looked up how to play it the night before I had to teach it, and then spent the next four days teaching six classes a day. I saw and yelled at over 500 scouts during the week.

Caleb got to hang out with other younger siblings, which basically meant that he got to do all the coolest stuff AND sit around and eat staff food all day.

And let me tell you, if you are thinking that I was a little crazy for being on staff while pregnant, two words. Staff Bathroom. All the other parents had to use the same bathrooms as all 520 scouts. It was totally worth the extra responsibility.

Benjamin and his den performing a skit.
Nathaniel patiently waiting for their turn to sing a song at the campfire program.

Caleb. Chilling with the staff and actually paying attention to the 24 skits and songs performed that evening.

In case you were wondering what 520 cub scouts look like.