Holey Lessons Learned

An important note to self:

When you have an upcoming vacation that will heavily revolve around water, and you also have a bathing suit which is only going to make it to the end of this summer because it's so threadbare AND you hold your second bathing suit in your hand while packing your suitcase, DO NOT leave the second bathing suit at home.

If you do, you may find yourself in the pool at a family reunion swim party and suddenly aware of a little extra water in the backside of your bathing suit. When you reach to the back of your bathing suit, you may also discover that several holes have appeared smack dab in the middle of your bathing suit's backside, which will make it so you will have to back (very carefully) out of the pool and into your cover up as quickly as possible, mostly because you sense that your husband's Grandpa would not find your mooning everyone at the family reunion to be in the best of taste.

THEN, because the next day's family reunion activity is going to a water park, you may find yourself in the unenviable position of rushing from the swim party to Super Target at 9:50 pm while they are shouting over the loudspeaker "the store is closing in ten minutes. please take all purchases to the register." Which will cause you to growl as you realize that apparently there are no bathing suits in the adult section made for anyone smaller than a size 24, which will make it so you have to go to the juniors section and look for something that looks more like a bathing suit and less like brightly colored dental floss. Which may cause you to grab 7 different bathing suits off the racks and run up to the register (all while still in your dripping wet cover up which is still covering up the holey suit) with $150 worth of bathing suits that are incredibly unlikely to fit you.

THEN, you will go back to your sister in law's apartment to try on all of the bathing suits which are likely to be rejected only to realize that your sister in law doesn't own a full length mirror. Which means that once you try on one of the hideous bathing suits, you will have to stand balanced on a chair that you dragged into the bathroom from the kitchen and try to determine how the bathing suit looks while you can only see 1/3 of your body at a time in it.

Ultimately, you find something that you think looks okay, but you're not really sure because you could only see 1/3 of your body at a time in it, but it will be fine for the rest of vacation.

BUT (haha) as you trudge back to Super Target the day after the water park to return over a hundred dollars worth of bathing suits, you will probably reflect on the fact that had you just packed that second bathing suit, the family reunion would have been a little less exciting.