Them Smith Boys and Their Cuss Words

Bad words have been a topic of much discussion in our house lately. Second grade has apparently been VERY educational for Benjamin in ways that I should have but didn't anticipate. Amusingly, though, it's Nathaniel who is mystified at all the hullabaloo over certain words having so much power.

Here was a conversation with him the other day:

Nathaniel: Mom, is there a "d" word and a "c" word?

Me: Yes.

Nathaniel: You should tell them to me.

Me: Um, no.

Nathaniel: But Mom, if you don't tell them to me how will I know what they are? And if I don't know what they are, I might use them by accident.

Me: [pause] Nathaniel, that is an excellent point. But I'm still not going to tell you.

This was the conversation the next day:

Nathaniel: Mom, is there an "F" word?"

Me: yes.

Nathaniel: Well, what does it mean?

Me: Um.....

Nathaniel: Well, Hell means a place, and b*tch means a female dog, and ass means a donkey. So they're okay words if you use them in the right way. So what about the "f" word?

Me: It's never okay.

Nathaniel: But what does it mean?

Me: Um.... Nathaniel, I'm going to help Benjamin with his homework now. Hopefully, I'll come up with a good answer for you someday.

And then there was the discussion at the dinner table last week:

Benjamin: I know the "f" word.

Me: WHAT?!

Nathaniel: What is it?!

Benjamin: It's REALLY bad. I read it in Calvin and Hobbes.

Me: Wait. What?

Benjamin: Calvin and Hobbes. I read the 'f" word in there.

Todd: No you didn't.

Benjamin: Yes, I did.

Me: No, you didn't. I'm sure there was a word beginning with the letter "f", but it wasn't THE "f" word. So what word did you read?

Benjamin: I'll spell it. (looking at us like we were BAD parents for making him spell this word.)

Benjamin: F-R-A-U-D

Me: fraud?

Benjamin: Yes.

Todd: It's not a nice word to call someone, but it's not bad.

Nathaniel: What does fraud mean?

Todd: Fake.

Nathaniel: (pointing up at some winter berries decorating our chandelier) so, those are fraud berries?

Todd: (trying to hide his laughter) Yes.