It will come as no surprise to those of you who know Todd and me, that we don't celebrate Valentine's Day. While Todd does bring me flowers every now and again, for the most part if I want flowers, I buy them myself. This keeps both of us happy. Same goes for chocolate. Chocolate needs no occasion. And then there is my theory about lingerie. If you have a good reason to be wearing it, you won't be wearing it long enough to make it worth the purchase. Jewelry does nothing for me. I don't understand it. Poor Todd is always counseled by his female coworkers to buy me jewelry at holiday times. When he tries to explain that I don't like it, they shake their heads and cluck at him and think of me sympathetically.
It may come as a bit of a surprise then to learn that I LOVE Valentine's Day cards. Oh, I don't mean the smarmy, "You mean so much to me, lovey dovey." No, no. I like the completely crass cards.
The first year we were married I gave Todd one which read, "Roses are Red. This card is crass. I enjoy your smile, but I really like your ...." Well, you get the idea.
My absolute favorite is one which absolutely cuts to the chase. On the front of the card is a dancing banana. Inside it reads, "La la la! Let's have sex!" I wholeheartedly approve of directness.
This year I had to hunt for one that was crass without being vulgar. It's a fine line and sadly there seemed to be less to choose from this year. Not to worry, though! I found one. Todd will blush appropriately at my inappropriate card to carry on our own personal Valentine's Day tradition.
Oh, happy day!
8 comments:
Thanks for the laughs, dear friend!
Oh, you have to tell us what the card says. Just kidding. I'm the same way about jewelry. I don't get it. And, Nolan gets those questions at work too. What are you getting your wife? I did tell Nolan this year I want a heart-shaped box of chocolates. That's all. I just love those things. They're so cute. We don't exchange Christmas presents either.
I love you even more for this side of you.
My friend sent me a card one year that said "Roses are red, and sometimes they're thorny, when I think of you, I get really....... Corny!"
Okay, that is hilarious.
Do you have a picture of the banana card? My sister got it a long time ago from a bf for vday and we thought it was hilarious.. Like the best card ever. I thought about it today randomly and Googled it but couldn't find it. Only your blog mentioning it. Hope you do!
Do you have a picture of the banana card? My sister got it a long time ago from a bf for vday and we thought it was hilarious.. Like the best card ever. I thought about it today randomly and Googled it but couldn't find it. Only your blog mentioning it. Hope you do!
Do you have a picture of the banana card? My sister got it a long time ago from a bf for vday and we thought it was hilarious.. Like the best card ever. I thought about it today randomly and Googled it but couldn't find it. Only your blog mentioning it. Hope you do!
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