The conversation in the car yesterday while listening to This American Life on the radio:
Benjamin: Dad, they just said the "B" word.
Todd: Yes, they did. It's not a nice word to say. They are saying that a not nice person called the lady that.
Nathaniel: What's the "b" word?
Benjamin: I can't say it, but I can spell it. b-i-t-c-h
Me: Where did you learn how to spell that?! You can't even spell "word" without sticking an extra "e" on the end!! How do you know how to spell that?!?
Nathaniel: What's the "b" word?
Caleb: I a vampire.
Nathaniel: What's the 'b' word?
Todd: I am trying to listen to the radio!
Nathaniel: What's the "b" word?
Todd: It's b*tch! Okay! The word is b*tch! It means female dog! Don't ever say it to anyone! It's very mean. (Harumph.)
[silence in the car]
Caleb: I a vampire.
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Today in the car on the way home from church:
Nathaniel: Did you know that snakes kiss with their tongues?
Me: I don't think snakes actually kiss the way we think of kissing.
Benjamin: French people kiss with their tongues.
Me: Who told you that?!
Benjamin: Drew.
Me: Well, there is a kind of kissing called "french kissing". People stick their tongues in other people's mouths. Does that sound nice?
All three boys: EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Good. Just keep thinking it's gross for the next 15 years or so.
Me to Todd: It must be your car. We never have conversations like this in my car.
